40 Weeks and Counting!

Ok, first of all, I need to know if other people can see this little blog....I have rated R things to say but only if no one else can see it. So until I find out I'm going to pretend no one can see it, and you guys are getting all the gory details of my body preparing for labor!! woohooo!!

That said I'm 40 weeks and 1 day!!!! Woo!
I'm officially overdue. Boo. I go to the doctor later today to talk about inducing labor and making sure everything is ok. Keep your fingers crossed and pray that "my hole" (as Ruthie would like to call it) is bigger =). Or for Kelsey's sake-- that I'm even more dilated than I already am and completely effaced. As of last Monday I was still only 1 cm dilated and 80% effaced and he is completely in the birth canal (soooo much pressure on my little vagina!!)

***SIDENOTE***Kels, did you know your sister is doing newborn pictures of him??!! I am soo excited!!

And we also officially have his name picked out too. We had his first name about two months after we found it was a boy, his middle name was a battle.
His little name is Callan Wayne =)
He's being named after my dad, a combination of his first and middle name (Craig Alan)--and his middle name is WAYNE!! haha. Both Jake and his dads middle name is Wayne, so I just figured we'd make his whole name sentimental. Why the heck not. plus i like the nerdy punch it adds. i find it to be rather endearing.

Hm...my nipples are leaking. Actually the right nipple is leaking... The other night I was sitting on the couch talking to Jake and I didn't have a bra on and was wearing a light gray t-shirt. I was moving around enough so my shirt was changing positions. I felt something wet and looked down and saw three separate wet spots right in a row.

I don't know how men look at women the same after going through pregnancies with them.

Lastly, on a more serious note, I need you guys to pray. Jake lost his job on Friday. Two days before my due date he gets laid off.
Part of me feels like this is still us being punished for doing this the wrong way, like God feels like constantly reminding us of how much we screwed up. Then another part of me is wondering if this is God closing a door so firmly that we know for a fact we are supposed to make a huge change.

Jake's family offered him an amazing job. A job that has awesome AWESOME pay, enough for us to be extremely comfortable with only him working, and just working one job at that. The only problem is that this job is in Montana. I would have to leave my entire family which has been our amazing support system this whole time, and I would have to break my mom's heart in thousands of pieces. Seeing her everyday would be restricted to maybe once a year, IF we could afford it, and I think the hardest thing for me is that Callan wouldn't know his super cool grandma and have a relationship with her and she couldn't watch him grow up and go through all the cute stages that I want her to be apart of soooo badly, and his only example of family would be Jake's family....and I'm sure I've told you all stories. it worries me.

I feel so torn because Jake and I neeeeeeed to get a place of our own, and we were getting soo close to achieving that goal, only for him to lose his job. its frustrating.

Oh yeah, and money has disappeared out of our savings and the bank doesn't know where it went. Almost forgot. ha.

So many things, such a big mess. This is not the situation I want him to be born into.
Pray, pray PRAY!! (please) =)

This all about skims the surface of our life right now, didn't mean for it to be this long, but what can you do....I have important things to say!!!!!!

p.s. i wouldnt mind you guys praying for a quick and easy delivery either...or that it would happen like---maybe today. ok thanks.
appreciate it.

p.p.s. if this is public, somebody tell me.

i love you all and I cannnNOT wait for everyone to visit!!!!